Whatever Happened to "I'm Sorry"?

Years ago a parent accused a teacher of denigrating her child's lifestyle. Of course, that wasn't what he said but she insisted that he apologize. The principal,being in a tight spot, decided to support the parent. The teacher didn't want to apologize for something he never said, so he wrote a letter saying he was sorry that the parent misunderstood, etc. He told me how he had finessed the apology without accepting responsibility. He knew was innocent of the charges.

Today, it seems that this is too often the case when people are guilty of some wrong doing.
When David Letterman disparaged Bristol Palin, his first apology was more of a joke than contrition. Only after pressure did he actually apologize.

Most recently Kanye West grabbed the microphone and interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. His first response was to justify his actions, adding that no disrespect was intended. Only after intense pressure and increased outrage did he actually said he was sorry.

A basic rule in media training is this:
When a crisis occurs, take responsibility and do it quickly.
When people in business or in the public eye, beat around the bush and talk around an apology, it only festers. Kanye is now in a major damage control situation and continues to say his mea culpas.

If you've made an error in a professional or personal situation, apologize. Effective communication is clear, specific, and direct. When you're wrong, say so. Like the words of the old Brenda Lee song, say "I'm sorry."

Are You Speaking English or American?

Early in my training career, I was sent to the London office to give a management skills seminar.The British were pleasant and receptive. At one point I told them that "These are skills you can use back on the job." All of sudden I heard a burst of laughter. I knew it couldn't have been my humor. Was the transfer of skills really that funny? I soon realized that "on the job" was the British equivalent of turning a trick. Uh oh. How was I to know? Nothing prepared me for that.

It was announced today that Mayor Bloomberg of New York City and Boris Johnson signed a two year deal to promote cross-Atlantic visits between London and New York.

So,if you speak in London, avoid putting your foot in your mouth. Here are some common terms to know:

bladdered-drunk
braces-suspenders
lorry-truck
mack-raincoat
jumper-sweater
trainspotter-a dork
diary-calendar,daytimer
it went off like a bomb-it was a success

Before you speak internationally talk to a cross cultural expert,read a book, and talk to the locals. And be careful when you say "on the job."

Speaking is the Key to Success in a Recession

In a down market, business owners and business professionals have less money to spend on marketing. One of the most cost effective ways and underutilized marketing skills is public speaking. If you're looking for a job, try speaking on a panel at a professional organization or give a free presentation at the public library or rotary club. You never know who you'll meet.

As a business owner, you'll want to be more strategic. Speaking in front of the right groups can provide you with leads and business opportunities. But you must have good platform skills to market by speaking.

Listen to my tips in my radio interview with Jim Blasingame.


http://www.smallbusinessadvocate.com/small-business-interviews/diane-diresta-7254

Can Your Prospects Smell Fear?

A new experiment from the University of Dusseldorf, Germany, studied students who were facing oral exams. They put absorbent pads under the armpits of students an hour before taking their exams. They tested the same students with absorbent pads again after they performed physical exercise.

A different group of students then sniffed the sweat from both samples while their brains were being scanned. While they couldn't tell the difference between the two types of sweat (pre-exam vs physical exercise), their brains showed different activity when sampling the pre-exam sweat. The areas of the brain that process social and emotional signals lit up including areas for empathy.

The conclusion? Anxiety triggers the release of a chemical automatically causing similar feelings in others who sniff the chemical. (Even though there is no conscious awareness). This could allow fear to spread quickly and accelerate our ability to run from danger.

The lesson? Prepare for your sales call or presentation, slab on some deodorant and don't sweat it!

Deliver What You Promise

I'm speaking at a conference in Washington D.C. I met my friend as I was heading to the convention center and she was going back to her hotel room. She told me that she attended an early session to gain insights on her competition.
She was appalled by the session. When I asked why she said that the speaker knocked the competition and that the entire presentation was a commerical. He kept saying "Here's what we can do for you."

People don't want a sales pitch when they attend a presentation. They want information, ideas, and inspiration. The platform is a privlege. What some speakers don't understand is that they shoot themselves in the foot when they hardsell.

They disrespect the audience and the meeting planner who invited them to speak.
Provide value for the audience and they'll want to do business with you. In other words, when you deliver what you promise, you'll reap the rewards. Too much selling from the platform will cost you business.
Remember: Good platform skills plus valuable content= more business, a strong brand,and a better reputation.

Ten Public Speaking Podcasts

I thought I'd share this series of podcasts for those of you who are auditory learners.

Knockout Presentations
Public Speaking Myths
Public Speaking Mistakes
Recovering from Public Speaing Mistakes
Overcoming Nervousness
Getting to the Point in Your Presentation
Setting the Stage for Success
Do You Really Know Your Audience?
Words That Will Kill Your Credibility
Speaking Skills for Women in Tough Economic Times


http://www.sbtv.com/DianeDiResta/1360

Is Communication Really 93% Non-Verbal?

Anyone who has attended my presentation/communication skills seminars has heard me cite Professor Mehrabian's study that communication is 93% non-verbal. Apparently, we students of communication have been misquoting him.
His communication study referred only to situations involving emotion. When listening to a list of words, people determined their like or dislike based on how they felt about the words.
So what can we learn from this? When an emotion is being expressed, the feeling behind the words is the actual meaning. A denial of anger expressed in a loud, aggressive tone means the person is angry. Period. If you believe the words and ignore the tone, the communication will break down.
But when speaking from the stage or giving a business presentation, the words are incredibly powerful and convey the meaning of the content.
Yet,as a speaker and speaking strategist I know that unless your body language and tone convey conviction and confidence, the audience will tend to doubt your credibility. And when it comes to selling, enthusiasm sells. For the actual study click here:

http://www.bobpikegroup.com/articles_view.asp?columnid=3618&articleid=60069

High Touch Equals High ROI

In 2005 I decided to become a woman certified business. Of course, I was dreading the process of dealing with the NYC government. The small business administration offered a free course to help with the application process so I signed up. What did I have to lose? I was expecting to be overwhelmed. To my surprise, the instructor made it a pleasant experience. He walked us through the document and clearly and simply explained the requirements. I was impressed by the ease of the process.
I decided to write a thank you note to the instructor for making the experience simple.
A couple of days later I received a phone call. It was from the instructor. He thanked me profusely. He was so grateful for my handwritten note. The way he was carrying on you would have thought he'd won the lottery. (Obviously, city workers aren't accustomed to praise.) He called to say that there was an event for newly certified businesses. Although I was not certified, he asked his boss if I could attend and she said yes. It was at that event that I met his boss. When she learned that I train speakers she said she needed my help. A short time later, she paid me $5000 for my business. I bypassed the proposal process and was hired directly. If I hadn't written that thank you note I wouldn't have met the decision-maker. That one thank you note resulted in $5000. Not bad ROI for 10 minutes of my time!

I still write thank you notes. But I also discovered an online tool that will allow me to send physical cards with my actual signature to build relationships and market my business anywhere in the world. If you'd like to see for yourself, visit http://www.creativefollowup.com

Lecturing from the Lectern

Most people love to hide behind the lectern.. It makes them feel more secure. The only reason speakers should use a lectern is to hold notes.
Here are a few guidelines to make the lectern work for you.

Don’t lean. Create some space. Step back six to twelve inches from the lectern so that you can’t lean against it.

Stand up straight. Slumping posture will create a sloppy appearance.
Anchor your feet shoulder width apart and stay grounded. If you sway back and forth, you’ll look like a metronome. You don’t want to put people to sleep with hypnotic movement.

Prepare the lectern in advance. Place a glass of water underneath it. Position your notes for maximum readability.
Get familiar with any dials or buttons. Know how to turn on the reading light. Adjust the microphone. You don’t want to fumble with the panel.

Don't staple your notes. Place your manuscript to the left. Slide the top page from the left to the right. This will prevent the noisy flipping of pages.

Gesture high and wide. The lectern is a barrier. If your gestures are waist high, your audience won’t see them. If you don’t use gestures, you’ll appear stiff.

Push your energy. You’re not entirely visible and you’re reading your notes. So increase your vocal variety and enthusiasm. It may seem exaggerated to you, but it will sound just right to the audience.

Step to the side of the lectern. Don’t stay glued behind a wall of wood. Begin your presentation by stepping out in front to make your opening remarks. Then step behind the lectern to begin your speech. Find places where you can come out once again by telling a short story or giving an example. This helps you to connect with the audience.

Adjust the lectern for height. In some cases you may be able to request a special lectern if you’re very tall or very short. If you're shorter than 5 feet three inches, you may want to stand on a platform behind the podium to give you added height. Another option is to use a table podium.

Don’t make the lectern a barrier between you and your audience. Practice these principles for a polished presentation.

The Hierarchy of Presentations

I like this posting by Seth Godin.

A presentation is a precious opportunity. It's a powerful arrangement... one speaker, an attentive audience, all in their seats, all paying attention (at least at first). Don't waste it.

The purpose of a presentation is to change minds. That's the only reason I can think of to spend the time and resources. If your goal isn't to change minds, perhaps you should consider a different approach.

1. The best presentation is no presentation at all. If you can get by with a memo, send a memo. I can read it faster than you can present it and we'll both enjoy it more.
2. The second best presentation is one on one. No slides, no microphone. You look me in the eye and change my mind.
3. Third best? Live and fully interactive.
4. Powerpoint or Keynote, but with no bullets, just emotional pictures and stories.
5. And last best... well, if you really think you can change my mind by using tons of bullets and a droning presentation, I'm skeptical.

A presentation isn't an obligation, it's a privilege.

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/04/the-hierarchy-of-presentations.html

Empowering Women to Breakthrough and Speak Out

I was a guest along with a great work-life expert Kathy Caprino, on a fabulous show: Live with Lisa! Radio – hosted by Lisa Wexler. The engaging discussion focused on the issue of women and reinvention, career transition, and speaking up with power. As a communications consultant and author of Knockout Presentations, I've seen how women sabotage their leadership and success by the way they communicate. Women, more often than men, tend to take fewer risks, wait for perfection before taking action, and speak with less conviction and authority.

It's clear that once women learn what confidence looks like, sounds like, and how to speak the language of confidence they gain greater respect, get promoted, and increase their salaries.

Click here to listen to the interview:

http://www.livewithlisaradio.com/

The show will be rebroadcast on Saturday,August 29th at 10:30 EST.

Create a Knockout Opening

Your opening and closing are extremely important. You have 30 seconds or less to grab attention. Here are a few ways to begin your speech:

* Startling Statement - This could be a statistic or statement that immediately gets them to sit up and focus on the topic. Shock appeal is more effective in persuading the audience to understand the seriousness of your position.

* Surprising Action - Do something unexpected. Act clumsy when using technology. Then regain composure and ask the audience for their reaction. Drive home the point that your platform is easy to use and you will avoid looking foolish when you use technology that works.

* Humor - People love a good laugh. It relaxes them, makes them feel good, and breaks the ice. Don't tell jokes unless you are a really good joke teller but do use humorous statements and anecdotes.

* Purpose Statement - This is a direct way of letting them know your point. This opening technique is a good choice when there are time constraints or when your audience has a short attention span. For example, "In today's presentation, I am going to explain the four styles of leadership and why you must think of yourselves not as managers but as leaders."

* Begin with the End - Occasionally, you may start with your conclusion and then build your case taking them from beginning to end. By starting with the end result or bottom line you capture attention and can lead them to your way of thinking.

* Ask a Question - The speaker begins with a rhetorical question that makes the audience think. When posing a question make sure it is meaningful to the audience. Otherwise it will have little effect.

* Quote - A well-known quote can colorfully introduce the point you want to make. This is especially effective for business presentations when you want to acknowledge an industry leader or in house expert. You will need to skillfully weave the quote into your topic.

* Visual aid - Visual aids can be very effective in focusing attention. Cartoon strips work well as do thought-provoking pictures or props.

* Personal Experience - This technique builds good will and creates a connection with the audience. It helps you relate on a personal level. Many comedians take every day personal experiences and exaggerate them. The audience can relate because they have experienced it.

* Anecdote - A short story is a powerful way to open or close a presentation. An anecdote or story can help to lower the listeners' defenses. Stories draw the audience into the content. But the story must lead into the presentation topic quickly or the point will be lost.

How to Present at Tradeshows

Tradeshows are show business according to Susan Friedmann,the tradeshow coach and author of Meeting Planning for Dummies and Riches in Niches. "People need to prepare. They think miracles are going to happen just because they are there. You need a specific purpose." Friedmann poses these questions: Do you want to get new customers? Are you looking for new leads? Are you there to educate your target market? In addition to having a clear purpose you must have a quantifiable measure of your goals.

"Beware of trick-or-treaters" warns Friedmann."These are people looking for freebee items." She provides the perfect remedy for avoiding visitors who are not serious prospects. "Offer items that are related to your business such as a white paper or tip sheet. Only the people who are really interested in what you have to offer will take them,"she explains.
The biggest mistake in tradeshow presentations is that people don't know why they are there. Companies send their employees to the exhibit without any training. This is why you'll find exhibitors on cell phones, reading, or eating in the booth.
Friedmann says,"You are on display! When you're in the booth you're an actor on the stage. You have a role to play. She trains companies to be successful exhibitors but will also do phone coaching for small businesses.

Another issue is getting traffic to the booth. Friedmann reiterates that this is due to lack of planning. "To attract people you need a pre-show campaign. Send postcards prior to the event. Give customers and prospects an incentive. Show or tell them something new. Target quality visitors. When it comes to tradeshows, it's quantity not quality." You can qualify prospects using a letter system. On the back of the business card write a letter A for a hot lead (ready to buy), a B for an interested lead, etc.
Friedmann's number one tip for tradeshow success is Know clearly what you want!

Get Set to Podcast

Setting the stage is not limited to conferences and theaters. If you plan to start podcasting your message,you don't need to visit an expensive recording studio. But you'll need to set up a studio from your home or office. Matthew Ebel, a musician and podcaster, presented tips at Boston podcamp.

First, consider the room shape. Ideally, you'll want to start with an empty room. He recommends rooms with high ceilings to reduce echos. Wall-to-wall carpeting will prevent the sound from bouncing. A walk in closet is an ideal venue for your studio.
Keep in mind that windows and doors will allow sound to seep in. Add curtains to windows, install bookshelves and add tapestries to the wall. This will absorb sound.
To reach Matthew visit matthewebel.com/

The Power is in the Follow Up

One of the most overlooked practices in business presentations is follow up.
Speakers spend so much time preparing (pre-work) and delivering the message, yet they forget to complete the process.
You can wow them from the platform but as soon as they lexit, your message may be left at the door. To reinforce the message, follow up with an email or phone call. Leave them a card with a few of your tips.

If you speak to market yourself, the power is in the follow up. Most people will not call you. It may take several contacts before anything happens. I spoke in 2003 at a networking breakfast. In 2004, someone from the audience called me to do business. Why not in 2003? They didn't have a need.

In April of this year, I sat next to someone who had been at the same 2003 event and remembered me. She asked if I did presentation training. I stayed in touch through emails, phone calls and lunch. In August we are going to run some seminars for the company.

Follow up is relationship building. This is especially true in networking. How often do people take a card and do nothing? Some networkers meet once and if nothing happens they move on. Success is not transactional. Success is about relationships.
Building the know-like-trust factor takes time. It's not about you-it's about them.
Focus on what you can do for others and follow up.

To create a followup system try this amazing tool http://www.creativefollowup.com

Business Presentations: What I Learned At The Paul McCartney Concert

On Saturday night I went to the Paul McCartney concert at Citifield, the new Shea Stadium. The doors opened at 5:30. The time on the ticket was 6:30. The warm up act didn't play until 7:30. Warm up act? Hardly. There was a 45 minute intermission before Paul came on stage. Even thought the group from Dublin was good,the energy fizzled and was sublimated into fries, hotdogs and beer. The lesson? There was no flow to this event. The reason was obvious. All that down time is planned so that people will buy food.
And yes, Paul was amazing and the crowd rocked. But overall, I wasn't impressed by the event planning at Citifield. There was no build up. The energy waxed and waned. I was bored waiting for the main event.

Presenters need to understand the importance of staging. A presentation,like a concert is a performance. Just like a rock concert is not a ballgame, not all presentations should be staged in the same way. Speakers need to think strategically about their purpose, the outcome, the mood, the tempo, and the energy of the event. The person who introduces the speaker is a type of warm up act. Do they create excitement and anticipation or do they speak dispassionately?

If there's too much time between networking and the main event, the audience gets restless. If you're Paul McCartney you can transcend poor staging. But for most of us, when it comes to presentation performance, it's all about energy and flow.

Business Presentations: Your Voice is Your Brand

This morning I called Sue Levine of CTS Travel 800-726-2757 x 113 to book my business trip. When I spoke to her on the phone she greeted me excitedly like an old friend. She said, "Hi Diane! Your voice mail says exactly what you do. Your tone is so upbeat and outgoing. I thought Wow! She doesn't have to use any promotional material because she spoke her message." Sue continued, "If I were looking for your service and heard your voice mail you'd be my number one choice. I could imagine you as a speaker. People must sit there listening to every word you say. In 35 years in the travel business, I can fathom from the voice and words what people and saying and not saying. And most voice mail is voice jail."

This was the first time I ever spoke to Sue. Talk about impact!

She got me thinking about a speech I gave last week on Presenting Your Brand. Even though the voice is 38% of the message in face-to-face communication,on the telephone your words and voice are 100% of the message. Yet, how often do we hear inappropriate personal voice messages, dispassionate tone, or garbled, rushed speech? What's the impact? A negative impression. We spend so much money on promotional materials and resumes to create a positive visual brand only to lose business because of an ineffective voice message. Your VOICE is your brand.

To hear my voice mail message call 212 481-8484 x312.

Speaking Skills for Women

In May we offered a public seminar for women to empower them in the way they present themselves. Today we successfully brought the program in-house to a new corporate client. Why a program for women? Generally speaking, women tend to take fewer risks, are perfectionists compared to men, speak more tentatively, and exhibit some unique behaviors that can undermine their credibility.

Speaking Skills for Women addresses fear and blasting through false beliefs, understanding the look, sound, and language of confidence and how to project authority and confidence. As a guest speaker, I've spoken about Creating Confidence: Ten Ways Women Sabotage Their Communication in the Workplace. Audience members told me that they learned practical tips that they could use immediately.

Speaking is a critical success skill and I believe everybody can be successful once they have self awareness and start to wear the uniform of confidence.

What Sarah Palin Can Teach Politicians

Sarah Palin shocked her constituents today as she gave an unexpected resignation speech. She didn't read a teleprompter. She didn't have a script. What she did do was speak from her heart. Whether you love her or hate her, the woman knows how to connect with an audience. She began by talking about her love for the people and state of Alaska. Her passion was genuine. She sustained eye contact as she spoke of both her accomplishments and challenges. Her language was straightforward and her message was clear as she shared her proud moments and her pain. There was no hesitation-just conviction. While some believe her premature resignation is career suicide, few doubt her ability to draw future crowds with her speaking ability. People find her candor and direct, folksy style a refreshing contrast to overly packaged politicians. The pen may be mightier than the sword but authenticity is the new competitive weapon.

To Touch Or Not To Touch

What do we communicate through touch?

Haptics is the study of contact cues. How frequently we touch, the intensity of the touch, the type of touch and who we touch, sends a distinct message.
With communication being 93% non-verbal, touching can speak volumes in the way we present ourselves.

In business presentations, the first haptic message is the handshake. Is the handshake a tight grip or a weak contact? Do you shake quickly and withdraw, is it a full handshake, or do you hold on longer than you should? The first example communicates nervousness or resistance, the second example is appropriate, the third example may be construed as sexual. If you grip and turn the hand over, you're trying to show dominance.

Where you touch is important. The safe zone is from the hand to the elbow.
A pat on the back between co-workers shows friendliness. A pat on the head is condescending.

How often you touch can reveal the nature of the relationship. Frequent touching indicates intimacy. It could also reveal aggression if it's finger poking or pushing.

Who you touch can signal hierarchy. The CEO might put a hand on a subordinate's shoulder but the subordinate would not touch the CEO.

People who are "touchy feely" may be perceived as warm and approachable or they may be seen as intrusive if the recipient is a person who doesn't like to be touched.

Realize that touching is communication. And like all presentations the type and frequency of your touch depends on your audience.

To Win Business It Takes a Team

The World is changing at warp speed. According to Richard Saul Wurman of Information Anxiety, ‘”The information supply available to us doubles every five years.”
What does that mean? It means the account executive can no longer act as a lone ranger.
In order to sell, promote, or position your company, an idea, or product, it takes a team. The relationship manager can’t sell client investment strategies without the portfolio manager. The advertising account executive needs the media planner and the creative team. And when customers start asking questions about networks and routers, the sales professional must rely on the “techie.”
In today’s competitive marketplace, products and services have become commodity-like. You can easily go from “first on the block” to the chopping block once your competitors develop a similar product. What distinguishes one company from another these days is the presentation and relationship.
What Goes Wrong
Too many times a sale is sabotaged because of a lack of coordination and preparation. The members meet the day of the presentation instead of preparing and rehearsing in advance. The result is a disorganized presentation. Customers can sense a lack of leadership. Another failing of teams is the lack of knowledge. The sales person doesn’t have to be the “expert,” but does have to demonstrate a command of the product or service. The subject matter expert must learn some basic selling/consulting skills in order to ask the right questions and to understand the customer’s needs.
Finally, teams may lack clear roles and expectations.
Too often, team members trip over each other and lose the sale. The common complaint is that the technical expert spends too much time on detail and may dominate the presentation. The techie thinks the sales person overpromises. Teams must decide in advance who is responsible for each part of the presentation and how objections will be handled.
Make it a Winning Team
Whether you are selling, presenting on a panel, or discussing your job at an employee orientation, here are some guidelines when giving team presentations:

•Act like a team. Your presentation should flow smoothly, with everyone working together. This isn’t the time to upstage others and compete for the spotlight. Leave your ego at the door. The team’s success is your success.

•Prepare. Meet beforehand to discuss roles, timing, and the general process. Agree on how you’ll handle difficult questions or situations that arise. (e.g., If it is a technical question, the subject matter expert will answer it. If it is a price concern, the account executive will handle it.)

•Appoint a leader or moderator. In the case of a sales presentation, the leader is generally the account representative. In a panel discussion, the moderator acts as a facilitator and does not present. The objective is to keep things moving.

•Decide on each person’s role. Who will speak on which topic, and for how long?

•Provide an agenda. The leader generally opens the presentation by introducing the team members and their topics. He or she then explains how the presentation will proceed: “First we will discuss the background history, then the current state of affairs, and finally we will make some future projections.” The audience needs an agenda to understand what you’ll be presenting. The agenda serves as a road map.

•Create transitions. To create a smooth flow, team members must segue from their material and turn the floor over to the next presenter: “That covers taxes. Now Ray will talk to you about estate planning.”

•Time each segment and rehearse out loud. Good presenters finish on time. If you’re given ten minutes, stick to the agreement. The only way to stay on time is to practice out loud and time yourself.

•Look at the audience, not your teammates. You need to watch the non-verbal behavior of your audience. You can’t do that if you’re watching the speaker or your teammates. It also looks more professional for the team to be looking in the same direction: toward the audience. Remember: all eyes are on you, and not just when it’s your turn to speak. If you look bored, chew gum, or tap your pencil, you will create a negative impression.

•Don’t debate or interrupt when someone is speaking. If a speaker omits vital information, wait until he or she is finished and then say, “If I may add to what John just said” or “To piggyback on what Carol said earlier..”

•Plan the closing. At the end, the leader announces the question-and-answer session and keeps things on track. Summarize and end with a positive message: “That concludes our presentation. We’ve discussed investments, taxes, and estate planning. We leave you with this thought: it’s never too early to start planning for retirement.”

•Be available after the presentation. If this is a sales presentation, be sure that both the sales person and the technical expert are available to talk to the customers after the presentation. Some people may be reticent to ask questions during the presentation. A fast exit from the platform can result in missed opportunities.

•Clarify the next steps. Will there be a demo? An invitation for an on site visit?
Determine who will be responsible for the next steps. (e.g., the sales person will phone qualified leads; the sales and technical experts will jointly participate in the demonstration.)

As competition heats up and information exponentially increases, it is absolutely essential that companies leverage the resources of their teams. Don’t wait. Get ready now to make winning team presentations.

The Persuasive Power of Words.

You may have heard the communication study that cites words as only 7% of the message.Well, that doesn't mean your words aren't powerful. A good speaker uses words to create pictures, evoke feelings, and persuade an audience.Think about it.
You don't persuade your listeners by pantomiming a message unless you're playing charades. An audience is influenced by your words. In direct mail marketing there are certain words that will increase the response rate. Words such as free, gain, results, money, guarantee are well known "selling words."

But now there is a single word that has been identified as so persuasive that when you use this word you will gain a 50% increase in the agreement to the requests you make of others.

According to the book, Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive by Noah J. Goldstein, Steve J. Martin, and Robert B. Cialdini, that single word is....because.

In experiments of people asking to cut ahead of others in line, the person would say "Would you mind if I get in front of you because...."
In most cases people would comply with the request. Even with flimsy excuses such as "because I have to make copies," people honored the request. Following the word because is a reason.
So whether you're speaking one-to-one, to a large group, or to the media, don't just ask for what you want-give a reason and use the word because.

Be a persuasive communicator. Call 212 481-8484 x312.

7.5 Million Americans Have Trouble Using Their Voices.

Diane DiResta, a licensed Speech Pathologist and author of Knockout Presentations, spoke at The Voice Foundation, the 38th annual scientific symposium on the voice. The conference attracts International otolaryngologists, speech scientists, vocal coaches, and speech pathologists who want to learn about the physiology and care of the professional voice.

According to the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders of the National Institutes of Health, approximately 7.5 million Americans have trouble using their voices. Despite widespread voice problems, too little is known about the vocal disorders that cut short careers, impair the speech process, devastate and even threaten people’s lives.

For the first time since it’s inception in 1969, the topic of The Speaking Voice: What You Need to Know About Speaking in Public was addressed. Nancy Solomon, Ph.D, kicked off the session by recognizing a lack of research in the science of speaking.

Ms.DiResta’s keynote revealed speaking as the new competitive weapon and identified 10 top speaker mistakes. Common mistakes in the scientific community include: speaking too long, providing too much data and detail than the audience can absorb, cluttering PowerPoint slides and talking to the screen, sounding scripted or unnatural and not tailoring the message to the audience.

She cited studies from MIT about the power of powerful presentation skills to sway venture capitalists to fund new companies and the research regarding the importance of likability of the presenter. DiResta discouraged scientists from reading their research. “I can read as well as you can, “ she claimed. “Reading is not presenting.” She advised that we’re all public speakers. “If you do research, you’re going to be asked to speak,” she stated.

After thirty minutes of audience questions, Ms. DiResta took part in a panel discussion with a psychologist, speech pathologist, speech and theater professor, an otolarygologist, and professor of communication disorders.

The conference stimulated much discussion and interest in the future study of the science of the public speaking voice. The conference was held June 5th through the 7th in Philadelphia.

Want Funding? Practice Your Elevator Speech

I've seen it time and time again. You're at a networking meeting. People introduce themselves. You turn to your partner and say, "I still don't understand what he does."
If you can't describe what you do and the value you provide, you'll forfeit funding, business partners, and new clients.

In a study by the University of Maryland's business school, they concluded that the business plan will not do much for attracting interest from venture capitalists. The reason is that they won't read all that documentation.
One venture capitalist said he'd rather hear the evidence in PowerPoint slides or in somebody's presentation.

Investors don't want to read a 50 page plan. They will read an "elevator pitch" executive summary. If that's well developed and well delivered they'll continue to read.

Mr. Goldfarb, from the University of Maryland business school, agreed that entrepreneurs should write a "150 word elevator pitch and to practice with anybody who will listen.

When I work with business clients, the first thing we do is to set a clear objective.
For example, is the outcome to be invited to a second stage meeting?
The second step is to profile the audience.
The third step is to write a clear elevator pitch or summary of the presentation.

Only after that elevator speech is clear, concise, and focused, can we begin to pare down the presentation and deliver a compelling case.

Smiling: An Asset or Liability?

A smile can be your greatest asset or a liability-especially if you're a woman. Flashing those pearlie whites can dazzle an audience. Think Julia Roberts. Her smile lights up her face and has become her signature.

Too often speakers mistakenly believe that to be professional you must be serious. Actually, the opposite is true. It takes confidence to smile and show expression. If you're too serious you'll appear nervous. In fact, the absence of a smile can be downright intimidating. One executive I coached was perceived as aggressive and arrogant.. Why? Because he showed no facial expression. He listened with a deadpan expression. It was chilling. We had to teach him to show teeth. When he started to smile he was able to connect with people. Smiling warms up the audience making you more approachable.

But smiling can also be a liability. Grinning like a Cheshire cat or plastering a non-stop smile on your face smacks of insincerity. When smiling is genuine you can see it in the eyes. Smiling too often can be more detrimental for women than for men. Women need to strike a balance between a serious expression and a smile. Excessive smiling can be perceived as subservient, people pleasing, or lacking confidence. Smiling is also situational. It's inappropriate, for example, to smile when announcing layoffs. Trying to break the tension with humor can backfire in that situation. Maintain a serious demeanor to demonstrate empathy and respect for the employees.
So to show you mean business-get serious. To connect and engage your audience- smile. When you smile and look somebody in the eye you acknowledge their presence. A smile says, "I see you. You're important. I care.". Your smile is your gift.

The Healing Power of Words

During my last Science of Mind class we had to give yet another presentation from the podium. One of my classmates approached the platform and before he began he said,
"I really need the support of everybody here." He disclosed that this would be difficult for him.

As I watched him, he appeared confident and knowledgeable. When he returned to his seat I said, "What are you talking about? You were great. I didn't see any evidence of nervousness. You have nothing to worry about." He grabbed my hand and I could feel it was sweaty.
He shared that my words meant so much to him, especially because I was a speech coach.
He said my words gave him confidence.

My intention wasn't to deliberately boost his confidence with words of encouragement. I was honestly flabbergasted that he felt this way since we had been giving class presentations last year. The only sign of nervousness was his sweaty palm. My advice?
Don't shake hands immediately after the presentation. (Just joking).

It made me realize once again the power of our words to change lives. Words can elevate people's spirits, infuse them with confidence, bathe them in love. In these times of transition you may not have money to pay somebody's mortgage or be able to give someone a job. But you have a gift that is more powerful than anything tangible-your words. Your words can heal.

You can change a life today. Give the gift of your words.

The Voice of Authority: Preserving Your Speaking Voice

Whether it’s the rich, resonant tones of Richard Burton, the breathiness of Marilyn Monroe, or the nasality of Fran Drescher, the sound of the voice conjures up an image, an impression, and can influence perception. Communication studies indicate that the voice is 38% of the message.
Effective CEOs know how to use the voice for effect but don’t always use the voice effectively.

If you do a lot of speaking , one of the bigger problems is laryngopharyngeal reflux, an inflammation near the back part of the larynx due to acid rising to that point. Thirty-five million people in the U.S. have acid reflux. Reflux is most common because executive speakers are on the go, stressed and may have poor diets.

The big five symptoms are:
• Vocal fatigue
• Lack of Projection
• Hoarseness as the day wears on
• Throat clearing
• Increased phlegm in the throat

To preserve the voice, don’t talk over noise or constantly clear your throat.

Another common voice problem is vocal paresis, a weakness in one or both vocal muscles manifesting in breathiness or fatigue. Vocal paresis can be caused by a flu or viral infection.
Even a monotone may be an indicator of a minor defect or partial paralysis. And also, speakers who have difficulty projecting could have some vocal fold asymmetry.

When hoarseness is the problem, first determine that there is no hemorrhage. Then start a process of hydration and steam. For frequent travelers, a dry hotel room can be harmful to the voice.

Avoid alcohol, chocolate, and caffeine before a speech. They dehydrate the mucous membranes.
To keep the voice in top shape, drink eight glasses of water a day, avoid dairy products, and eat a balance of protein and carbohydrates. Practice “safe speaking” by using disposable hand sanitizers to clean off telephone mouthpieces. To minimize the effects of a cold, use zinc lozenges with 12.5 mgs of zinc. And don’t sit near fans and air conditioners.

The key to vocal fitness is good breathing and relaxed but dynamic use of body parts. Most people don’t breathe adequately. To project your voice, work on your breathing. . Practice breathing into the belly, pushing it out like a balloon, holding it for 5-10 seconds, then letting air go out with a sound for 5-10 seconds.” This will give you vocal power as well as reducing speaking jitters.

Before a presentation, warm up your voice with these exercises:

1. breathing down low in the chest
2. humming
3. lip trills (brr brr brr..)
4. tongue trills
5. syllable drills ( puh tuh kuh/ buh duh guh) to warm up tongue/jaw motion

The vocal folds are muscles. Frequent speaking can fatigue the voice so build in time for vocal rest.
With proper breathing, voice training, and vocal hygiene any speaker can master true vocal power.

Does Your Audience Choose A Blackberry or You?

Speakers continually complain that their audiences are always checking their blackberries instead of listening. It's a constant challenge.
They can take a lesson from a flight attendant named Holly.

On a crowded Continental Express flight to Chicago, before the attendant began her announcement she asked people to remove their coats
from the overhead compartment to make room for baggage. She explained that smaller bags and coats must go under the seat. This was an FCC regulation for our safety to enable us to easily evacuate.

Then she began her presentation. I continued reading. I already knew the drill. She said,"Okay. Holly's Rules."
That was different. I was curious and looked up. She followed with "I'm going to show you how to walk, talk, and breathe."
Now she really had my attention. Holly told us to expect a bumpy ride and not to hold on to the back of the seats when walking. "That will only cause people to wake up," she joked.
She demonstrated how to hold on to the edge of the overhead panels when walking down the aisle. "Well, that takes care of walking and talking.
Now how do you breathe?" Holly told us that if the oxygen cups descended we would know if oxygen was flowing by noticing little beads in the clear air tubes. Pulling on the tube would activate it. In all my years of flying I never heard that. I actually learned somethng new. She wanted us to be informed because her oxygen mask didn't reach far and she wouldn't be able to get to everybody in an emergency.
Everyone was now paying attention and fully engaged!

Finally she asked if anybody read the instructions about electronic devices. She confideded that she doesn't read them either and that's why they make announcments.
She listed the devices that could be used. Restricted devices were anything that required an electonic signal. She said that if you tried to use a blackberry it would constantly look for a signal and this would drain the battery. I didn't know that either.

One last thing. She asked the passengers if she should make one pot or two pots of coffee. We voted. Then she confided that she was shy and didn't like making
presentations.
At the end of her presentation the passengers applauded. One person remarked, "That was the best presentation I've heard."

Why do most people tune out during take-off? Because most flight attendants are reading or reciting data. Like so many boring presenters, they are just talking heads.


So what did Holly teach us about speaking?

She began by establishing rapport.
She didn't speak to one person; she spoke to the group about storing bags under the seat. (Teachable moment)
She grabbed attention by saying something unexpected. (Holly's rules)
She provided an agenda of her presentation. (Walk, talk, and breathe).
She managed our expectations. (It's going to be a bumpy ride).
She personalized the messsage.
She modeled behavior. (Demonstrated how to walk during turbulence).
She always offered a rationale after making a request. (FCC regulation to help you evacuate).
She used humor.
She provided new information. (Look for the beads in the air tube).
She was clear, simple, and brief.
She used self-disclosure. (I don't like giving presentations).
She engaged the audience. (One pot or two?).

Holly"s presentation set a lighter, pleasant tone for the trip.

Lesson learned:
If you want your audience to focus on you instead of a blackberry, be compelling.

Are You Present or Just Presenting?

On Saturday my dear cat, Blackie passed away. We had him for 11 years and he was the perfect cat. I received some comfort from friends who called and sent emails.
One person called and offered to leave her cell phone on while she was away. I called and called but the phone would not accept a voicemail. When she returned on Sunday, she discovered that the phone wasn't charged. She apologized and said she called to check in to see how I was doing. Obviously, her intention was positive. While she was talking I heard loud banging that was hurting my ear. I asked if she was doing the dishes. She said she was emptying grocery bags and putting the items on the table.
When I complained about the noise she said, "You'll get over it."
I certainly did-I ended the call.
Obviously she wasn't ready to talk. She wasn't present. While her intention was to call to see how I was doing (caring) the result was that I felt disrespected and not important.
I felt that I was an obligation and something to check off her "to do" list.

The real message in a communication is NOT your intent. The true message is the result.

How often do presenters memorize a page of words and spew them at us like spitballs hoping that they hit our minds? To be an effective communicator, we must be present. If we're thinking of our next line, we're not present with the audience.
If we're dropping a string of "ums" and "ahs" we're not present. To be truly present is to be with the person. To be present means to connect by really looking at people.
To be present is to share and hold the silence with them.

Your audience may be one or one thousand. It doesn't matter. The present we give our audience is our presence.

Where's It At?

A reader of my articles sent me an email. It read:

Dear Ms. DiResta:

I recently read your article "Six Sloppy Speech Habits". I would like to add a seventh: Ending sentences with the word "at."

It is cringe-worthy how many people put that particular preposition at the end of sentences these days, as in, "I don't know where my notebook is at." And, "Let's get back to our lesson. Where were we at?"

It sounds so sloppy and unprofessional and just plain ignorant.

I would love to hear your comments on this.

Dear Reader:

Thank you for reading my article and for your contribution. I agree with you. This would fall into the category of grammatical errors.

You should not end a sentence with a preposition. It's more appropriate to say "I don't know where I put my notebook." A better alternative to "Where were we at?" is to say "Where were we?"
When it comes to language, usage is 90% of the law. In other words, when expressions are used frequently they become part of the vernacular. But ending a sentence with the word "at" is not considered grammatically correct.

Successful people have a command of the language. Sloppy speech habits can cost you a job interview or promotion. It's definitely not effective in any business presentation.

To read the article click here:
http://www.diresta.com/public-speaking-articles/article-six-sloppy-speech.html

Let us know what you think about sloppy speech habits in the work place.

Are You the Right Leader?

Many of my clients hire me to help them with their "Executive Presence."
To be effective, you need to look and sound like a leader. But there is another area of business leadership. It's about the right fit.
When I did outplacement work in the 1990s, I discovered that most people were in the wrong jobs.
They had the right skill set and were the right candidate on paper. So why didn't they succeed?

Nat Stoddard and Claire Wycoff, authors of The Right Leader, know the answer. After years of working with C-level executives, Nat discovered that 40% of those executives would leave their jobs in 18 months. Yet, they were intelligent, skilled, experienced, likable, talented people. This statistic was true whether candidates were hired internally or externally. They realized that character and cultural fit were as important as skills and experience.

As a result, the Match Fit model was developed. The model, which is described in the book, serves as an assessment tool to increase the success of newly hired executives.
Finally, companies and leaders can save themselves frustration, embarrassment and costs due to low retention.

To learn more visit:

http://www.amazon.com/Right-Leader-Selecting-Executives-Who/dp/0470344504/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1237294490&sr=8-3

Do Looks Matter?

We saw the contrast in the presidential election between the youthful,energetic Obama and the older McCain. Did looks make an impact in the election? Researchers in Switzerland would probably say yes. They found that voters may be heavily influenced by physical appearance even at an early age. They showed adults photos of two unknown candidates and asked them to choose the candidate they preferred. Seventy per cent of the time they selected the winning candidate. The results were duplicated when kids were choosing the candidates. They concluded that voting decisions are not made on the issues but more frequently on appearance. While it's possible to change one's mind after hearing the issues, first impressions have staying power.
So what about leadership? Job candidates? John Lennon once sang, "Got to be good lookin' cause it's so hard to see..." If it's advantageous to have good looks, it behooves leaders, candidates, job seekers and anybody trying to influence others, to be as attractive as possible. There's a reason image consultants have a thriving business.

How Are the Pyramids Like Public Speaking?

In January I was invited to work in Cairo, Egypt. It was an amazing experience. The Egyptians pride themselves on their hospitality. In the perfume shop I was invited to have tea as I sampled the array of essential oils. When I worked with my clients, we began each coaching session with a one hour breakfast in the hotel to "break the ice." It was evident that relationship building is as important as acquiring new skills. They were very open to learning the American way of communicating and valued our presentation approach.
On my day off, I hired a guide and headed off to see the pyramids and the sphynx. I was struck by their majesty and wondered how they could still be standing after 4,500 years. It made me realize that the key to their longevity is their solid, well built structure. A single stone weighing tons, fit perfectly into the groove of another stone.
And that's a lesson for public speaking. The delivery is only as good as the structure. Each point must fit or flow into the next idea. A presentation won't be effective without a solid structure. I've worked with clients for one to two hours just on organizing and building a framework from which their ideas can flow.
Good structure and design will enable you to be clear, get to the point more quickly and stay on message. When your speech has a strong structure, your presentation will stand the test of time. Just like the pyramids.

Does Caroline Kennedy Really Want to Be Senator?

In a interview Caroline Kennedy made the following statement "You know, I think, really, um, this is sort of a unique moment both in our, you know, in our country's history and in, you know, my own life, and, um, you know, we are facing you know, unbelievable challenges"

What was the message? She sounded tentative, nervous, and lacking conviction. The hesitancy becomes the message. It raises doubt as to whether she really wants to be a senator. When people feel strongly about something, it is evident in their language. They use fewer ums, stronger word choice, and a passionate tone.
After hearing her interview, the public questioned her ability to lead.

Let's make the message stronger:

"This is a unique moment and we face unbelievable challenges."

The first message got lost in the delivery. The second version is clear, strong, and memorable.
When you pepper your conversation with numerous non-words or fillers you dilute the message and weaken your leadership.

I've coached many intelligent, competent people whose leadership was challenged because of their verbal presentation.
Everyone uses one or two /ums/. But when it's excessive the speaker loses credibility and the audience stops listening.
One executive used 108 /ums/ during his presentation to shareholders. After coaching he reduced the number of non-words to eight.

Don't make people walk through the weeds to find the kernel of your message.

Even Pizzarias Make Presentations

Recently I went to a local pizzaria. I ordered an eggplant hero and a salad. I stepped aside and waited for my takeout order. After a while a young man said my food was ready and he rang up my order. After I paid him he walked back into the kitchen.There was a pizza box on the counter. I stood there waiting for him to bring out my food but it never came.
The impatience must have showed on my face because the owner came over to the counter.
He asked if he could help me. I said that I paid for my food but the waiter never brought it out. The owner pointed to the pizza box and said "It's right here."

Well, why would I know a salad and sandwich were in a pizza box? Usually they put them in a paper bag. He placed a pizza box on the counter, took my money and walked away. The young man never PRESENTED IT to me. That was like a speech that has no conclusion. It leaves the audience confused.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. I am now in a Subway shop ordering a tuna hero. I watch the server as he fills the sandwich. He takes my money and walks to the cash register.
He never comes back. I kept waiting for him to bring me the sandwich. I didn't see it. Finally I told someone else that I was waiting for my sandwich. They told me it was on the counter. I walked over to the end of the counter and there it was sitting by the register where the server left it. He never PRESENTED IT to me. He made the sandwich, put it down and went into the kitchen. What is going on here? While this may seem like a customer service issue there are lessons here for business presenters.

1.Always have a clear, strong conclusion.
2.Don't assume your audience understands your business.
3.Never disrespect your audience or leave them confused.
4.End your presentation with a smile and a thank you.

Your presentation IS your business.

The Persuasive Power of Three

For years I've been telling my clients and audiences to group things in threes-three agenda items, three main points, three benefits.

Three is a magical number. We remember things in threes. Think about it. We experience many threes in this culture: traffic lights (red, yellow, green), nursery rhymes (three little pigs, three little bears, religion (the trinity), movies (Three Coins in a Fountain), baseball (three strikes and you're out), and even public speaking (opening, body, conclusion).

According to the American Psychological Association there is scientific evidence that customers are more easily persuaded by repetition in sets of three. To read more click here.

Your Networking is Only as Good as Your Presentation

The holidays are a good time to network to find a job, develop new business, and to connect with friends. But your networking success is only as good as your presentation.

Here are a few tips for holiday networking from Laura Hill, CEO of Careers-in-Motion.

• Have your answer to “What do you do?” ready at all times – this is your elevator pitch. Provide your function (human resources; chemical engineering), context (your company name, industry or subspecialty) and something unique or memorable about what you do. Modify your pitch for the situation and practice it out loud beforehand.

• If you’re in a job search, tell everyone – and I mean everyone – your dentist, hairstylist, accountant, relatives, and neighbors. Give them your elevator pitch and include “I’m interested in companies such as ABC, XYZ, and DEF”. They may have another client who works at one of your targets!

• Contact former colleagues and old friends: “How’s your schedule for catching a drink to toast the holidays?” or “With things a little slower due to the holidays, I thought this might be a good time to catch up over lunch”.

• A holiday greeting card or email letter is a great way to keep your name top-of-mind with your networking contacts. Include recruiters you know who work in your field and your professional network.

• Arrive on time and stay late at a function to allow ample time to meet as many people as possible. Briefly greet and make plans to follow up with people you already know so you can focus on meeting new people.

• Volunteer: not-for-profit organizations need more helping hands during the holidays. It’s a great way to meet people outside your usual network and it will lift your spirits.

PS - Please forward this to your friends and colleagues, and for more information on job search and career management assistance, call 212-758-9944 or http://www.cimllc.com

Your Delivery is Only as Good as Your Proposal

One thing I've discovered is that speakers don't deliver their message effectively because they lack a solid foundation. I've spent two hours coaching speakers on their strategy, structure, and message points before we ever work on delivery. Only when they have a solid structure can they truly persuade their listeners.

Whether you work in business, sell for that business, or own your business, you'll be called upon to present a proposal. But you can fail to win the business even if you're a confident, dynamic speaker. You can't sell unless your proposal sells.

Adrian Miller, owner of Adrian Miller Sales Training, presented tips on Writing Proposals That Close More Sales at the NY XPO.

Adrian advised that your proposal Be Clear-use conversational language and no jargon.
Be Specific and Relevant. She warned againt Boiler Plate B.S. One size does not fit all.

Another mistake presenters make is they waste time on prospects who won't buy. Adrian was adament about not skipping over the qualifying step.
She then described the process: Begin with a Hook, Establish Goals, Speak to their Background, Summarize the Current Situation and Desired Outcome, then Present your Recommended Plan, Details, and Next Steps.

It's just as important to know what a proposal is not. It's not a price quote, a contract, an equipment spec sheet, or brochure copy.

And never forget-it's all about the prospect! http://www.adrianmiller.com

What's Your Elevator Pitch?

If you got into an elevator with Donald Trump would you be able to pitch yourself or your idea so that he'd be interested? That's the question Susan Solovic, CEO of SBTV.com asked the audience at the NY XPO.

Susan talked about the Cs and Ps of a good elevator pitch.
When you craft it, make sure it's content appropriate, concise, compelling, clear, confident and gives a call to action. When delivering your pitch you must have poise, projection, passion and practice, practice, practice.

Finally, there must be a benefit to the listener. Describing yourself as an executive coach is boring. To stand out you can say, "I inspire companies and people to be the best they can be." If the listener asks you how you do that, you know you have a compelling pitch.

An elevator pitch is verbal marketing. Do you attract people with your words? As I always say, life is a presentation. Make yours a knockout!

Online Communication is a Business Presentation

This was my question on linkedin: What is the best CRM for small business?

The first reply follows below:

"Your requirements are too generic - just about any stand-alone CRM has a web-based interface and integrates with Outlook and Quickbooks. Both Outlook and Quickbooks have CRM add-ons, for example, that meet your criteria. Intuit has an ecosystem of CRM and other vendors that integrate with QB. It's best to describe how you intend to use it - track leads, manage forecasts, run marketing campaigns, etc."

In face-to-face communication there is an immediate in-the- moment dialogue.
Questioner: "What's the best CRM for a small business?
Respondent: "What are you looking for?" or "What do you want to use it for?" or "Why do you ask?"

In written or social media being specific is even more important than when you're face-to-face. You don't have the time to dialogue in real time if you post a question to a group. So it's important to create a specific message and to target your question to a specific group.

Public Speaking Fear is All in the Mind

According to the October 25th Newsweek article there is agreement among researchers who study the processes of mind and brain that underlie belief. "As scientists began studying belief in the paranormal, it quickly became clear that belief requires an open mind—one not bound by the evidence of the senses, but in which emotions such as hope and despair can trump that evidence."

The article went on to say that "the brain's sensory regions, including vision, are at the mercy of higher-order systems, such as those that run attention and emotions. If attention is not engaged, images that land on the retina and zip back to the visual cortex never make it to the next stop in the brain, where they would be processed and identified and examined critically."
Neuroimaging studies have shown that there is a "constant back and forth between cognitive and emotional regions of the brain. It can intensify perceptions as when fear sharpens hearing but it can also override the senses."

What does this mean for public speakers? Fear can intensify your perceptions. If your attention is not fully engaged, a serious face in the audience can be perceieved as hostile or the pleasant, receptive expression can be missed all together.
This is why speakers have an "out of body" experience where they don't remember what they said. Focus your attention on your breath, slow down, and be fully present.
In other words, get over yourself. It's not about you, it's about them.

You Can't Lead If You Can't Speak

History was made November 4, 2008. Barack Obama was elected president. Political campagains aside, what made him stand out? His oratory. Leaders must be able to inspire an audience and that requires excellent speaking skills. Passion, poise, and a consistent message inspire trust. The ability to handle challenges and attacks without getting flustered conveys a sense of confidence. Delivering a message to a crowd is only part of the process. A good leader must be able to connect one-on-one. How many times have we seen a dynamic speaker who shares an exciting vision and then quickly exits the stage bypassing the handshake? Obama successfully used social media as well as making contact face-to-face.
When is comes to leadership there is a relationship between speaking and leading. To the victor belong the spoils. And to the leader belong good communication skills.

Matt Lauer Gets Roasted

On Friday, October 24th I attended the Friar's Club roast of Matt Lauer at the NY Hilton. It was a star-studded event with a surprise guest-Tom Cruise. Tom came out while the lights were dim and gave a funny tribute to Matt. On the dais were Donald Trump, Katie Couric, Ann Curry, Al Roker, Meredith Viera, Martha Stewart, Joe Scarborough, Clay Aiken, Omarosa, Miss America, Miss USA, Jeff Zucker, Brian Williams, comedians Richard Beltzer, Pat Cooper, Jeffrey Ross, Bob Saget, Gilbert Gottfried and others. In the ballroom of 1900 guests were Howard Stern and his wife, and Joy Bahar of The View. Aretha Franklin sang the national anthem. After she sang, Stewie Stone said it was the first time he heard the fat lady sing before it was over. Aretha communicated her response with a New York gesture.

Many of us have an opportunity to give a toast but roasting is less common and requires a special skill. It was interesting to experience how some people can read a script and be funny where others are not. It's all in the delivery. The best comedian was Jeffrey Ross. Jeff Zucker, TV anchor Brian Williams, and Meredith Vieira were surprisingly funny. Richard Beltzer kept tripping over his lines and finally Matt got up and read it for him. At the end of the luncheon, Matt Lauer gave a gracious thank you speech.

A roast is expected to be funny and raunchy especially when it's for entertainment celebrities. But in a business setting it's important to be careful. You need to remember that humor in the workplace is a great release when it's appropriate. But unlike the celebrities who went home after the event, you live in your workplace. You'll see the same people the next day. So when you roast, make sure it's well done.

And the Winner Is...

Tony Osime from Lagos won the contestand and received my free ebook, Difficult Conversations. She organized adult learning methods in order or most active to most passive learning. Why is this important? Because most speakers rely on lecturing and reading notes. To increase retention try some of these methods:

1)Teach Others
2)Immediate Use of Learning
3)Practice by Doing
4)Demonstration
5)Audio visual
6)Lecture
7)Reading

You can get your own ebook at the online store - www.diresta.com

What Joe the Plumber and Ronald Reagan Know about Pubic Speaking

Why all the hoopla about Joe the Plumber? A man asked a simple question. He wanted to buy a business. He was concerned that he would not be able to afford to do so if his taxes were increased. Why does Joe's 15 minutes of fame seem to have a life of its own? Because it struck a nerve.

Joe the Plumber represents the common man. He wants practical answers to everyday issues that affect his life. He doesn't want theories about spreading the wealth. He wants to know in practical language what he can expect so that he can make a decision.

How often do financial speakers present their numbers without telling the story behined the numbers? What about technical speakers who don't translate how the technology actually benefits the end user?

Ronald Regan knew how to relate to the general public. He spoke in simple terms. He appeared as comfortable having a beer with a group of blue collar workers as he did when dining at a state dinner.

The lesson here is know your audience. Never underestimate or ignore a question. Speak simply and clearly. And adjust your style to match the style of your listeners. In other words, speak their language.

Make Your Message Stick

Most speakers go into default mode. It's called lecturing. But lecturing is only one form of speaking and it's passive learning. Your audience needs a variety of methods in order to remember your message. So get active!

Arrange these seven learning methods in order of most active (1) to most passive (7).
Post your answers. The first person to answer correctly will win a free copy of my book, Conversations on Success.

Audio visual
Demonstration
Lecture
Practice by Doing
Reading
Immediate Use of Learning or Teach Others

Can You Spell Boring?

Last night's presidential debate was a lesson for any business presenter or public speaker. Your audience will forgive almost any gaffe or foible except for being boring. Where was the fire in the belly? Enthusiasm sells!

Both candidates may as well have been giving a P&L report. There was no passion, no conviction that created a feeling of excitement in the listeners. They were calm and matter-of-fact but did not inspire leadership. It was a safe presentation. There was nothing controversial and nothing memorable. Who won the debate? Nobody. They both lost the opportunity to rally the crowd

I always tell my clients there are no boring topics-only boring presenters. Well, Obama and McCain certainly proved my point.

Posturing for Success

My clients often come to me to develop executive presence.
Executive presence is hard to define but you know it when you see it. And when it's lacking, it affects your leadership. It begins with the way you command the platform whether your platform is a stage or a conference room. An audience sizes you up from the moment you walk into a room.

And many presenters project weak posture. People with good posture are perceived as more successful. Confident people stand up straight, with their shoulders back, their head held high, and their eyes looking ahead. It's amazing how a simple act of standing tall with shoulders back can impact perception.

Poor posture will make you seem smaller,cause lower back pain,and create a negative impression.

The challenge is being aware of your posture especially if you have a tendency to slump. Now there is a device that can give you instant feedback and you can wear it under your clothing. It's call iposture.

The iPosture is an intuitive electronic device designed to improve posture. Just over one inch in diameter, the iPosture automatically senses when the body slouches, and it alerts the user with brief vibrations to correct it. http://www.iposture.com

Discover Your Power Voice with Les Brown

What is your power voice? It's your authentic self-not the talking head but the real you. How do you find your power voice? Motivational Speaker and Trainer Les Brown will show you how in his Speaking Bootcamp. Listen to my interview with Les Brown at the National Speakers Association convention in New York City.

You're an Expert But Can You Speak?

Has this happened to you? I attended a teleseminar the other day. The guest speaker was touted as a real expert in his field. Based on his background this was true.
The teleseminar was given in two parts with each part being one hour.
Although I took notes, I can't tell you much of what I learned in two hours.
The reason was because I tuned out. When the interviewer asked him a question he would respond like this: "Well, um ah yeah the the answer to that well is you know the way I think of that is..." SPIT IT OUT!

A teleseminar is still a presentation.
It was so frustrating to listen to someone who couldn't answer with a clear, to-the- point message. The two hour content could have been delivered in one hour.
It would have helped to have a handout. Although I remember a few tips, it could have been delivered just as easily with a few written bullet points.
So here is the lesson: As I say in my book, Knockout Presentations, your success depends on the quality of your presentation. This applies to everybody but celebrities. Why?
Because people want to been seen with a famous speaker or want to learn from the top experts. So unless you're a celebrity invest in your presentation skills.
Luckily this teleseminar was free.

Thirty Seconds to Win or Lose

It takes 30 seconds or less for an audience to decide to listen or tune out.


Your opening must grab and focus attention.
Most people I coach have difficulty getting started. People are most nervous at the beginning of a speech. Even when their speech is well organized they hem and haw during their opening.
It's like revving up a car on a cold, winter day. It takes time to get the motor running.
They may start with "So...I want to tell you about..." or "Good morning, um, I think my idea is, I feel this is a good idea.."


This scattered approach will set you up for failure. Your opening must be crisp and focused. The way to achieve that is to write your opening line and memorize it.
Recently, I worked with someone who had a technology product that would benefit the audience. But it took the speaker too long to get to the point.

We worked on refining the opening: "I'm going to show you a way to make your life easier. It will enable you to pull the data faster."
The speaker captured their attention, focused the presentation, and sounded more confident.
The presentation was a success.

When it comes to opening statements-less is more.

Are You an All Star Speaker?

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to see the All Star parade in New York City. The great players of baseball waved to the crowds from their floats-Whitey Ford, Yogi Berra, Reggie Jackson, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, and others. The night before I watched Josh Hamilton hit 28 home runs at the Home Run Derby. Amazing!
He was so natural and made it seem effortless as he hit the ball out of the park.

I started to think about what makes a player great. And it's the same thing that makes speakers great.
First, they look natural. They make speaking look easy. You would never know how many months and years they studied and practiced. That grace and ease takes discipline. Greatness in sports and in speaking takes hard work and focus.

In baseball, it's about the numbers, the stats. In speaking it's about the results. What is the audience outcome? Do they leave with infomation they can use or do they wonder where the value went? Great speakers provide practical tips and current information. Great speakers make an impact on the audience.

In any sporting event, the fans go on a roller coaster ride of emotions from passion, to anger, to suspense, to triumph. Great speakers know it's not enough to deliver information. Audiences want an experience. They want to be entertained. For that reason great speakers are master storytellers. They paint pictures with their words and take the listeners on an emotional journey.

Finally, great players are risk takers. They see an opportunity to score points by stealing bases. Great speakers steal moments. They're not afraid to be spontaneous, improvise, and take the speech in another direction if something unexpected happens.

You don't have to be in the Hall of Fame to be an All Star Speaker. Work on your craft, focus on results, give the audience a valuable experience, and take risks. And you'll be the star of your own speech.

Top 5 Issues Meeting Planners Face

If you're a speaker who presents at conferences and conventions or if you're planning a meeting you need to know what factors will impact the success of your meetings.

According to MiForum, here are the top 5 issues meeting planners face:

1: Fuel prices and their impact on travel, prices of everything (including
the food served everywhere) and the surcharges we see now on some services
and those we will see, and on staffing since many minimum wage staff can no longer
afford to work because of high transportation costs.

2: Airline schedule restructuring which is leaving many markets without service at all or with such limited service that it makes it tough to travel.

3: The economy - in the US and abroad: not only are homeowners losing homes,renters are losing the homes that the owners are losing; jobs are being cut; banks are being taken over, and on and on.

4: Govt. regs: Mostly about pharma meetings (see today's NYTimes re the
American Psychiatric Assn. -

(http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/12/washington/12psych.html?_r=1&ref=to
We're gonna see more of that and more industries and organizations, not just in the medical field, are going to come under scrutiny. The fall out for just APA could be a massive hit on the convention business.

5: Meeting outsourcing: It is becoming more difficult in many markets for
meeting planners to find jobs.

Even Kids Need Presentation Skills

A mother called me to coach her son. He was a recent college graduate and she didn't think he was maximizing his interviews. He was interviewing for prospective graduate programs in the medical field.
His mother confided that he left home as a sparkling conversationalist and after living with four geeks he became one himself.

Initially, he spoke rapidly and sounded nervous. He wasn't aware that he needed to stop and breathe after a sentence.
But he also didn't have prepared message points which was the reason he would ramble on. We started with the basic questions-"Tell me about yourself", "What are your strengths?", "What are your weaknesses?"

But his toughest question was "What is your major?" Why? Because he was applying to a medical program. Although he had the necessary 96 pre-med credits, his degree was in English. (Not your typical biology applicant).
He'd respond defensively trying to justify his English degree. He didn't know how to turn a perceived negative into a positive.

After the coaching here's how he responded to "What is your major?"

"I have 96 pre med credits, I picked up 30 credits and a degree in English, and I'm two courses shy of a degree in psychology which I'll probably go back and complete."

So your degree is in English?

"Yes, and I'm proud of that. People tell me it's refreshing to meet somebody who is wholebrained. My English degree provided me with good writing skills and will help me communicate with patients. I think it makes me unique."

He now not only knows what to say but he thinks differently about his background.
This student has confidence from the inside out.

Portugal Toastmasters Interview with Diane DiResta

I was interviewed by Francisco Saraiva, the President of Toastmasters in Portugal.

FRANCISCO SARAIVAAbout Public Speaking… Home
Who is Francisco Saraiva?
What I’m reading / watching
Moment with Diane DiResta
Public Speaking Blogs, Toastmasters Add comments As we continue our feature posts of the best speakers in the corporate world, we give you a brief interview with internationally renowned public speaking coach and trainer and author, Diane DiResta.

Diane conducts various hands on training and coaching on presentation and communication skills development. We asked Diane the main challenges clients face regarding public speaking.

“The main challenges my clients have in common are fear of speaking, and a loss of leadership credibility when speaking. In a few cases, the fear causes avoidance. Avoiding speaking is career suicide especially for those in a leadership role. They lose opportunities for visibility both internally and externally. Knowing this, they seek coaching,” she said. Effective communication skills are therefore a vital part of a company’s success.

So apart from fear, what else do clients face for them to seek help?

“Many clients have difficulty getting to the point. I’m often hired because the client lacks “executive presence.” They are skilled and competent but they don’t look and sound like leaders. They overwhelm the listeners with details they don’t need or care about. This leads to a lack of clarity and focus. Without a clear focus and a crisp message, speakers will lose the attention and respect of the audience.”

“In my book, Knockout Presentations, I created a template so that speakers could organize their thoughts and speak more succinctly. I’m about to launch an online Speech Maker tool that will allow speakers to easily write their speeches online, edit, and print them from their desktops. It will be ready this summer”, she excitedly told us. This is something to watch out for.


In Diane’s blog she state that “if you want to get to the next level of speaking, watch good speakers.” We asked her identify three “good speakers” that influenced her the most and why?

“Certainly Martin Luther King is very inspiring to watch. He was passionate and used rhetorical devices such as alliteration, vocal intonation, creating a shared vision, repetition, and a challenge to the audience.”

We featured Martin Luther King at length a couple of weeks ago with a focus on his “I Have a Dream” speech.

“I’m inspired by a minister named Joel Osteen who has such a positive message of hope and through his storytelling empowers people to be their best. Gerald Coffee is a former Vietnam prisoner of war who tells his story in the most interesting and motivating way. He is a walking example of the resiliency of the human spirit. He uses a technique called anchoring. When he talks about how the American prisoners would knock on the wall to communicate with each other, he knocks on the podium. He begins and ends his presentation with three knocks. He has a powerful story to tell.

I’m continually impressed and influenced by the speakers at the National Speakers Association convention. It will be held in New York City in August.”

Diane has an interesting article “A Predilection for Diction” where she quoted an interesting study by West Georgia College, “a person’s social status is determined by their voice even when content free speech is used e.g. counting from one to ten.” With regards to this, we asked her if she thinks a professional speaker should worry about his accent and try to change to a more respected accent such as the BBC accent.

“This is an interesting question. I don’t think you should be something that you’re not. Faking a British accent will never work. But people will make judgments based on your voice and diction. It depends on your purpose. One professional speaker I know was from New York City. He had a real New York accent. He was advised by some other speaker that he should lose his accent. He thought about it for a few minutes and decided against it. If he changed his accent he would sound like every other speaker. He had a New York attitude and style and his speech pattern suited him. He’s still on the speaking circuit and is successful.”

We asked the same question to other speakers as well and they all agreed not to lose one’s native accent which a person could work for his advantage. Each person is unique in his own way.

Diane continued, “On the other hand, I once saw a medical doctor who had poor diction. I couldn’t believe that a network television station would give her a job as a health reporter. I had trouble believing she was a medical doctor and questioned her intelligence. Why would someone with that level of education still sound inarticulate? They eventually fired her. The first speaker was very articulate, used proper grammar and vocabulary. He just had a regional accent. There is no excuse for poor grammar. It’s fine to sound like you’re from a particular region as long as it’s not a pronounced or thick accent. I have worked with people who have foreign accents to speak more clearly but they don’t ever sound like Americans.”

Finally, “People will make decisions about your competence and status based on how you speak. This is especially true when speaking on the telephone. Most people love the voice of the actor James Earl Jones or Richard Burton. They have deep, warm, resonant voices. There are other voices that sound like nails on a chalkboard. The voice can soothe or irritate. We create images in our minds about the other person just from the sound of the voice. My advice is to use your best voice and diction especially when using the telephone, interviewing for a job, or speaking from the podium.”

“Thank you for the interview. I would love to visit Portugal some day.”

DiResta Communications can be reached at www.diresta.com
or email Diane at info@diresta.com. She answers rather promptly or we wouldn’t be having a chance for this interview. Drop her a line soon!



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Get the Hook: When Speakers Hog the Spotlight

It's been declared that Senator Obama is the democratic nominee. In politics or sports, when one person's numbers exceed his opponent's scores it's customary to bow out gracefully. This was not the case for Hillary Clinton. She continued to command the spotlight without any mention of an end to her campaign. So when is it to time to leave the stage? And how do you stop a speaker who exceeds the time limit?

Time is valuable to any audience. When a speaker ignores the clock, the audience feels frustrated and disrespected.

There are a few reasons why speakers don't end on time:


Lack of Preparation-They didn't rehearse out loud and time themselves and they have too much material.

Ego-They love the sound of their own voices and take advantage of a captive audience.

Time Cut Short-The previous speaker spilled over to the next time slot and the speaker doesn't know how to shorten the speech.

Nobody complains when a speaker finishes early.
But when a speaker drones on and hogs the spotlight it's time to get the hook. Here's what the moderator can say:


"Thank you, John. What's one thought you'd like to leave us with ?"

"Please help me thank Katherine." (applaud)

"Bill we're coming up on the one minute mark. Do you want to continue and skip the Q&A?"

"What a great presentation. Thank you" (start applauding)

Say out loud, "One minute is left."

Play loud music or lower the lights to let them know the time is up.

If you find that you're running out of time, finish your point and fast forward to your conclusion. Come to an end and look for the nearest exit.

Don't let them get the hook.

Speakers Behaving Badly: Are You A Platform Abuser?

The platform is a privilege. When invited to speak, we have a responsibility to respect the audience and the nature of the platform (culture, venue, purpose of the invitation). Yet, many speakers take this responsibility lightly and abuse the platform. Some of the biggest abusers are Hollywood celebrities at the academy awards. It's disrespectul to accept an award and then use the stage for self-serving causes and political rants. When Jane Fonda received an academy award for the movie Klute, it was at the height of her anti-war protests. You could hear the audience breathe a sigh of relief when she said, "There's so much to say but now is not the time." Worse yet, are singers who pack the stadium to full capacity only to bash the current administration or turn the concert into a political rally. When people buy a concert ticket they expect to be entertained. To impose a political agenda is simply a bait and switch tactic.

The most recent platform abuser was reverend Michal Pfleger. He mimicked and mocked Hillary Clinton at the pulpit of Trinity United Church of Christ. What was especially abusive was to do this in a church or "House of God." A pastor's platform is to preach the Scriptures not to campaign for a presidential candidate. This was a betrayal of trust.

At conferences business speakers abuse the platfrom when they sell their products from the stage. An infomercial is not what they came to hear. There is an unspoken contract between a speaker and an audience. The audience expects you to provide value. While it's acceptable to challenge, stimulate and provoke thinking, it's not all right to change the program just because you have a captive audience.

One speaker announced that instead of lecturing he would have an open discussion. People left feeling dissatisfied. They wanted the speaker's expertise-not a chat. He violated the contract.

The next time you're invited to speak, clarify your role, know the audience expectations, and then keep your promise. Speaking is a gift. Resist the temptation to push your own agenda. And you'll continue to enjoy the privilege of the platform.

Get to the Point

The top speaking mistake is lack of focus.
I can’t tell you how often leaders and entrepreneurs sabotage their brand by not being able to articulate a clear message. Not only does the message get lost, but the speaker loses credibility. As a leader, you are the brand. And the market place wants to hear from you.

So how do you get to the point? First, begin with a clear outcome by completing this sentence. At the end of my presentation, the audience will _______. The answer to this fill-in is your outcome.
To be on message you must start with a clear intention.
Next, write down a one sentence purpose statement. This is your opening. If you can’t state your purpose in one sentence it’s too long.
Ex. “In today’s podcast, we’ll talk about how to get to the point and why it’s so important.”

After the purpose statement, write a 3 point agenda. People remember things in threes. Keep it short and simple. The audience needs a roadmap and the agenda will keep everybody focused.

Now, develop each point with examples and data. Remember the rule of three. Don’t overwhelm them with details. Otherwise you’ll start to ramble. When it comes to speaking, less is more.

I once coached an executive who was told that his communication was unclear and his team left his meetings feeling confused. After observing him, I realized his problem.
He would say the same thing three different times. He was concerned that his team might not understand it the first time. Instead, we was confusing them. To get to the point, say something once and move on. If it’s not clear, the audience will ask questions.

So, to get to the point remember these principles:
Create a clear outcome or intention for the presentation.
Begin with a one sentence purpose statement.
Remember the rule of three.
Keep it short and simple. When tempted to give more information ask yourself “Do they really need this?”
Less is more. Say something once and move on.

When you use these principles I guarantee you’ll get to the point more quickly, deliver the intended message, and become a better speaker and leader.

For more communication tools, visit my website and visit my channel on youtube.

Exciting Teleclass Coming in May!

In this fast-paced live audio teleconference experts Diane DiResta (author of Knockout Presentations) and Adrian Miller (author of The Blatant Truth: 50 Ways to Sales Success) will lead you through powerful techniques to increase your confidence and grow your business.

More details and registration link here.

Podcamp NYC -The Unconference

I just attended my first podcamp in New York City. What is Podcamp?
Podcamp NYC is an "unconference" focused on how to use, implement and share any/all new media tools including, podcasts, videocasts, blogs, Second Life, Facebook, and YouTube, among others. The conference is FREE to attend and you're a "participant" versus an "attendee" at the event. I loved the emphasis on dialogue over lecture. The audience ranged from educators, to marketers to geeks with ages spanning college level to the gray haired crowd. The event took place on April 25-26 at Brooklyn Polytechnic. More information at: www.podcampnyc.org.

New media is democratizing the world by breaking down geographic, socioeconomic, and age barriers. It allows anyone anywhere in the world to get access to information and resources. You no longer have to wait for your 15 minutes of fame. You can create it!
If you're serious about business presentations you must stay on the cutting edge. I continue to tell my audiences that today's presenters must be media savvy and have broadcasting skills. Now you can get your message out through podcasting, youtube,and videocasts but you need to know how to use the media and deliver your message. Although it's easier than ever to blast your message to the world you are only as good as your presentation. It behooves everyone to get media trained so you can shine in the spotlight.

Work the Room

Do you stand frozen behind a podium or do you look like a duck in a shooting gallery, pacing back and forth? There's no reason you have to stay in one place. Get out and move!

But first, you need to know how to work the room. Stop distracting your audience - move with purpose.

Watch this video and learn to take control of the room:

Unhitch the Technical Glitch

Murphy's Law was in full effect. My associate and I conducted a live teleseminar together.

We rehearsed the night before using the conference service. She did a live recording of a different class the day before and it went off without a hitch. So we knew the service was reliable.

The day of our teleseminar we hit a glitch. As soon as we started the recording feature several people were kicked off the call. A flurry of emails warned us that they couldn't get back on. While my colleague furiously contacted tech support I carried on with my part of the seminar.

What should you do when you've prepared your presentation and you still get derailed?

Take a lesson from champion ice skaters. When they fall on the ice they get up and keep going. Immediately after the call, we recorded the same content without any listeners on the line. We then sent the link to everybody who registered. We offered them the recorded call, an offer to call us with any questions, and a refund if they were not satisfied. Only one person asked for a refund. (We sent her the link anyway).

What's the lesson here?
1. Always anticipate what could go wrong and have a back-up plan.
2. Choose reliable technology. (Higher priced plans provide better service).
3. Rehearse using the technology and know that it can work well one day and not the next.
4. Keep going. Continue your presentation with the people who can hear you.
5. Do the right thing. Your reputation and integrity are more important than any profits. Your reputation is your profit center. If requested, we would have refunded every participant. Your content is only part of the message. Customer service is the REAL message.