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Who Let the Dogs Out?

There was a popular song years ago that went " Who let the dogs out?" And that's a question that's apropos this week in the media. The answer is President Obama let the dogs out in his recent speech in Milwaukee. Alluding to his opponents he said, 'They're talking about me like a dog." What does this tell us? Language reflects thought. While some studies state that words are only 7 per cent of the message, words are powerful. They give us insight into what the speaker believes and feels. In this case, Obama is saying he feels like a victim. The key is the wording "They're talking about ME". It's something that is happening to him. It's not the language of leadership. There is a difference between being genuine and appearing weak.

Former Mayor Giuliani showed genuine sadness during the bombing of the World Trade Center but he never spoke like a victim.

The dog statement was not written in the speech. He acknowledged that he went off message. When giving a formal speech that's televised it's best to stick to the script especially if the speaker is in an emotional state. Otherwise, you might end up in the dog house.

Speaking at UMBC

The University of Maryland Baltimore County invited me to give a keynote and workshop on How to Give a Knockout Presentation.

Doctoral students, many of whom are underrepresented in STEM (Science, Technology,
Engineering, and Mathematics), attended the PROMISE Summer Success Institute. I was honored to be invited to speak. The students were eager to learn and highly participative. Social media takes speaking to a new level. There was live tweeting during the panel and my keynote. It takes real confidence to keep speaking while the audience is twittering away. It was fun to read the comments. By the way, they found me on twitter, so I'm not complaining. Here I am with Dr. Tull, who invited me to speak. Just as in business, the university has brilliant students who are not always brilliant presenters. The goal was to convey how to communicate with confidence and clarity especially when defending their dissertations and pitching ideas to their professors. We talked about the importance or reading the audience and code switching to accommodate a professor's supportive or confrontational style. Each student learned how to give a brief elevator speech and recognized the importance of personal rapport. Whether you're in school or the workplace relationships are the key to success.

Got to Be Gook Lookin' Cause It's So Hard to See...

Remember the John Lennon lyrics, "Got to be good lookin' cause it's so hard to see?"
Looks are important for both men and women. Yes, women are unfairly judged and held to a higher standard. Female candidates are scrutinized for every new hairstyle which is not the case for male politicians. That being said, I tell my clients and audiences to honor the power of the visual. First impressions are visual and almost instantaneous. We make decisions about leadership, trustworthiness, success level, and competence based on how others appear visually. Your stage presence doesn't depend on having a beautiful face or washboard abs. It does depend on how you carry yourself, what you wear, and how you look in the clothes you wear.

You are your own personal brand. Top companies invest outrageous amounts of capital in creating a brand and a big part of the brand is the logo, color, and packaging. Most people would perceive a Tiffany box as having more value than a brown parcel post. Real estate agents and sellers spend time and money restaging a home and manicuring the landscape because it increases value. Even animals in the wild groom themselves. Companies call me in to work with their leaders on executive presence. They don't present themselves as leaders and as a result they are not taken seriously and can't get to the next level. Wouldn't it be great if people could get past your looks and see the substance beneath the surface? Yes, it would but it isn't happening.

Appearance counts. Does that mean you need to invest in plastic surgery to look good? No.
Is Hollywood anorexia a standard we want to uphold for our young girls and women? No.
Should we be slaves to fashion? No.
But when your look is outdated people think your ideas are old fashioned. If you look haggard, you won't be attractive on a job interview because energy sells.
So, aim for good health, feel good about yourself, and dress well. Make sure your visual impression is consistent with your personal brand. When you step out on that platform it's showtime and you'd better look good.

How is a Magazine Ad Like Public Speaking?

I was on the ferry this morning reading the paper and having my green tea when I was distracted by the woman sitting next to me. She was aggressively ripping out pages from a magazine. I looked at the pile of pages next to her to see if there was any pattern to her choices. They seemed random- a page of text, a good looking male model. Curiosity finally got a hold of me as I leaned over and asked, "Are you creating a vision board?" She paused for a moment as if trying to process what I had just said. "No, " she explained, "I'm pulling out the ads. It makes it easier to read." She went on to say, "It's disturbing to realize the magazine is mostly ads."

She was right. I find those paper pull-out ads to be annoying and they make turning the pages difficult.

What a novel way to read a magazine! I'd never seen anyone prepare to read. Yet, that woman on the ferry was more prepared than many of the presenters I observe.

And it made me realize something about speaking. Those paper ads are like non-words in a speech. Those irritating fillers such as "um", "you know," "ah", "like" are everywhere.
Non-words are analogous to those annoying ads in magazines that prevent you from reading the article or even finding the article with ease. Non-words, like ads, are distractions that blur the message.


What are you doing to prepare your audience to hear your message?


How are you weeding out non-words that distract from your content?

If everybody practiced their presentations out loud and determined where they inserted non-words, they could then write reminders in their notes and verbally tear out those insidious fillers. When you use non-words you lose credibility even if you're a subject matter expert.

Last week I reconnected with a woman I hadn't seen in years. We figured out that she had attended my Learning Annex Class on How to Give a Knockout Presentation in year 2000!
She confided that I had inspired her and that she still thinks of me. How did I inspire her? She said, "You told us never to use non-words and since that time I stopped saying /um/. I tell other people to stop doing it."

Well, apparently, it made a big impact on her presentation as she is now being called as an expert in the media and doing a terrific job.
Think of non-words as clutter. Just as we don't like ads in our magazines or commercials on TV, your audience doesn't like hearing a cacophonous trail of ums and ahs.

What Does a Toll Booth Have to Do with Public Speaking?

On Friday I was driving home from a coaching assignment in New Jersey. I was on the Garden State Parkway which has a number of toll booths. At the second toll booth, I extended my hand and gave the toll collector a dollar. She waived me on. I remained there not understanding. She said, "The person before you prepaid your toll." I was surprised. It was so unexpected that I couldn't process it at first. Why me? I tried to figure out through the Law of Attraction what was different this particular day that I had attracted such positive energy.

All I knew is that I felt good. I was flying high. It was only a dollar but it wasn't about money. It was about the gift. It was about feeling special. The feeling lasted over the weekend as I called friends to tell them about this random act of kindness.

It got me thinking about what I teach in my speaking and communication seminars.

It's the little things that make the greatest impact.

Speakers overwhelm themselves trying to make bold changes. They think they have to completely remake themselves and achieve the equivalent in a Ph.D in Public Speaking.
All it takes to make an impact is the little things-an extended pause, holding eye contact a bit longer, expanding a gesture, using an analogy, telling a personal story, standing up straight, breathing before you speak, holding a positive image before your presentation, bringing your intonation downward at the end of a sentence, smiling.

These are simple, little things that when activated, can make a big impact on the audience. The impact of my experience at the toll booth was worth so much more than a dollar. Don't discount small steps. You never know the affect they will have on not only you but your audience.

How to Lose A Job or A Sale in 7 Seconds or Less

Has this happened to you? You go to a networking meeting. Someone approaches you who is well dressed and well spoken. They extend their hand and all of a sudden you find yourself holding a wet fish. Yuk! Nothing will sabotage a good first impression faster than a limp, weak handshake.
Don't get me started! I talk about handshakes in every presentation, speech, seminar and coaching session because it's so important.

I coach leaders on executive presence and work with executives on their interviewing skills. If you have a weak handshake you've just conveyed a negative impression. First impressions count. You may not have another opportunity to influence. Your presentation is your brand and your handshake is an extension of your brand. Would you trust a leader who didn't have a firm handshake?

Yes, men and women shake hands differently. I tell men that women will not break if they shake their hands with some pressure. I tell women that men are not there to kiss their fingertips. A handshake is an equal opportunity communication. It's the same for both genders.

A handshake is a little thing that anyone can master in minutes. So why is it that even after practicing a firm handshake people revert back to being a wet fish?
They don't realize that the real message is in the body language and not the words.
You can say all the right things in an interview or sales call. You can have an outstanding resume or product.
But if you shake hands like a wimp that is what they remember. It's an emotional reaction and people will be swayed by their feelings.

When my nephew Michael was 14, we brought him to a golf course to get a job as a caddy. Michael, being shy, reached out and offered a weak handshake. The caddy master gave him his first lesson in life. He said, "Shake my hand like you mean it."
From then on Michael gave a firm handshake.
It's a little thing and as I always say, it's the little things that make the greatest impact.
So if you want to make a good first impression, shake hands like you mean it!