Are You Present or Just Presenting?

On Saturday my dear cat, Blackie passed away. We had him for 11 years and he was the perfect cat. I received some comfort from friends who called and sent emails.
One person called and offered to leave her cell phone on while she was away. I called and called but the phone would not accept a voicemail. When she returned on Sunday, she discovered that the phone wasn't charged. She apologized and said she called to check in to see how I was doing. Obviously, her intention was positive. While she was talking I heard loud banging that was hurting my ear. I asked if she was doing the dishes. She said she was emptying grocery bags and putting the items on the table.
When I complained about the noise she said, "You'll get over it."
I certainly did-I ended the call.
Obviously she wasn't ready to talk. She wasn't present. While her intention was to call to see how I was doing (caring) the result was that I felt disrespected and not important.
I felt that I was an obligation and something to check off her "to do" list.

The real message in a communication is NOT your intent. The true message is the result.

How often do presenters memorize a page of words and spew them at us like spitballs hoping that they hit our minds? To be an effective communicator, we must be present. If we're thinking of our next line, we're not present with the audience.
If we're dropping a string of "ums" and "ahs" we're not present. To be truly present is to be with the person. To be present means to connect by really looking at people.
To be present is to share and hold the silence with them.

Your audience may be one or one thousand. It doesn't matter. The present we give our audience is our presence.

Where's It At?

A reader of my articles sent me an email. It read:

Dear Ms. DiResta:

I recently read your article "Six Sloppy Speech Habits". I would like to add a seventh: Ending sentences with the word "at."

It is cringe-worthy how many people put that particular preposition at the end of sentences these days, as in, "I don't know where my notebook is at." And, "Let's get back to our lesson. Where were we at?"

It sounds so sloppy and unprofessional and just plain ignorant.

I would love to hear your comments on this.

Dear Reader:

Thank you for reading my article and for your contribution. I agree with you. This would fall into the category of grammatical errors.

You should not end a sentence with a preposition. It's more appropriate to say "I don't know where I put my notebook." A better alternative to "Where were we at?" is to say "Where were we?"
When it comes to language, usage is 90% of the law. In other words, when expressions are used frequently they become part of the vernacular. But ending a sentence with the word "at" is not considered grammatically correct.

Successful people have a command of the language. Sloppy speech habits can cost you a job interview or promotion. It's definitely not effective in any business presentation.

To read the article click here:
http://www.diresta.com/public-speaking-articles/article-six-sloppy-speech.html

Let us know what you think about sloppy speech habits in the work place.

Are You the Right Leader?

Many of my clients hire me to help them with their "Executive Presence."
To be effective, you need to look and sound like a leader. But there is another area of business leadership. It's about the right fit.
When I did outplacement work in the 1990s, I discovered that most people were in the wrong jobs.
They had the right skill set and were the right candidate on paper. So why didn't they succeed?

Nat Stoddard and Claire Wycoff, authors of The Right Leader, know the answer. After years of working with C-level executives, Nat discovered that 40% of those executives would leave their jobs in 18 months. Yet, they were intelligent, skilled, experienced, likable, talented people. This statistic was true whether candidates were hired internally or externally. They realized that character and cultural fit were as important as skills and experience.

As a result, the Match Fit model was developed. The model, which is described in the book, serves as an assessment tool to increase the success of newly hired executives.
Finally, companies and leaders can save themselves frustration, embarrassment and costs due to low retention.

To learn more visit:

http://www.amazon.com/Right-Leader-Selecting-Executives-Who/dp/0470344504/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1237294490&sr=8-3

Do Looks Matter?

We saw the contrast in the presidential election between the youthful,energetic Obama and the older McCain. Did looks make an impact in the election? Researchers in Switzerland would probably say yes. They found that voters may be heavily influenced by physical appearance even at an early age. They showed adults photos of two unknown candidates and asked them to choose the candidate they preferred. Seventy per cent of the time they selected the winning candidate. The results were duplicated when kids were choosing the candidates. They concluded that voting decisions are not made on the issues but more frequently on appearance. While it's possible to change one's mind after hearing the issues, first impressions have staying power.
So what about leadership? Job candidates? John Lennon once sang, "Got to be good lookin' cause it's so hard to see..." If it's advantageous to have good looks, it behooves leaders, candidates, job seekers and anybody trying to influence others, to be as attractive as possible. There's a reason image consultants have a thriving business.