How Should Tiger Woods Present Himself?

The media won't stop asking questions and covering the Tiger Woods accident. Up until now, Tiger had a squeaky clean image. But with the hint of a scandal and unanswered questions, it's become a media circus and a problem for his reputation.

What should he do? One of his mistakes was to retreat. When a crisis hits, the best strategy is to respond immediately, in person, and in a positive way. If there is any personal culpability take responsibility.

Tiger's website posted this statement:

"As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I'm pretty sore.

This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.

This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be."

While it's a good statement, his mistake was not showing up to deliver the message in person. Trust is increased when people meet face-to-face. Lawyers often advise against saying anything in public. Even if he doesn't answer questions, he can still speak for himself. People want to hear from the person and not read a public relations statement. He needs to manage his reputation. As Michael Paul, a crisis communication expert so eloquently put it, "Image is what people think you are. Reputation is what you are."

You Can Learn to Speak Even in Tough Economic Times

Most people agree that developing their public speaking skills is a good investment.
Some people such as students or job hunters just don't have the money to hire a coach. So I want to propose a solution that I offer to many people.
Here is an email from someone who heard me speak:

Dear Diane,

Three years ago, your speech convinced me that there was much room for improvement in my communication skills. I had to do something about it.
While I was much tempted to subscribe to your service, by the time one travels to NY City and back, a whole day is gone. I can never afford the time required.
Looked for alternative, I joined the local Toastmaster club. It has been extremely beneficial for me.
You planted the seed that has lead to some important improvement in my life.
Diane, in this time of "Thanksgiving" I wish to express my gratitude for planting such seed and for the positive effect that your powerful presentation has had on me.
I owe you. I'll be glad to contribute and to return the favor whenever an opportunity will present itself.
Thank you once again.

Kindest regards

Louis N.

Why would I promote Toastmasters when I offer coaching and speaking services?
Toastmasters is an association for anyone who wants to practice public speaking.
It provides another venue for my coaching clients to practice in front of a new group.
Toastmasters members are not professional coaches; rather, they are people from all walks of life who want to overcome fear of public speaking.

Don't let lack of funds stop you from giving a Knockout Presentation.
Join your local Toastmasters club at wwww.toastmasters.org

Speaking Skills for Women-Obsolete?

Yesterday I gave a webinar entitled Speaking Skills for Women in Tough Economic Times.
The moderator told me that prior to the meeting, two men saw the listing and commented that the topic was outdated. They did not attend the webinar so they didn't know what I said.

That made me think. Yes, women represent larger numbers in the workforce but where are they? How many traditionally male industries have representations of women of 30% or greater? How many corporate CEOs are women? Thirteen out of the top 500 companies?

Even though women have made tremendous progress I still hear complaints from women when dealing with male colleagues. And when I train or coach women I still see ways that we sabotage ourselves by the way we present ourselves and by the way we communicate. But maybe it's just me.
What are your thoughts? Is this topic outdated?

Round and Round She Goes

Enjoy this guest post by Tom Antion

Round and Round She Goes
by Tom Antion

I recently spoke at a seminar where the hotel representative had talked the meeting planner into using round tables for the room setup. I later found out that the hotel had run out of classroom tables and told the inexperienced planner that round tables are better.

When I saw the set up I was horrified. That's because I know that people are spread out further from the presenter and also, you have the problem of half the chairs facing away from the stage area.

Unless you are doing a banquet/luncheon/breakfast, or unless you are conducting a workshop where the attendees are interacting more than you are talking, this is the "kiss of death" seating method.

Unfortunately I didn't learn this until I had done 1500 presentations. After I did learn to seat people as close together as possible and as close to the presenter as possible I found that the same humor I had been using for years got a three times bigger response. Also, I would notice more head shaking in agreement with my points and a much larger overall excitement level in the room.

I'm certain the hotel person was just trying to cover up for not having enough tables and I'm also certain the hotel person had never held a microphone in his hand. No one will ever blame the room setup crew if you bomb. As the presenter you must take care of every logistical detail in your control to make sure you hit a home run every time you speak.

Since there were no more tables and I was stuck with the rounds, the first words out of my mouth were, "everyone who is facing the wrong direction go ahead and stand up and turn your chairs around. I want to make sure you are comfortable."

Tom Antion is a professional speaker and entertainer with over 2700 paid speeches to his credit. You can check out his award winning public speaking site http://www.Public-Speaking.org where you'll find 120 articles on professional level, yet easy to implement, speaking techniques and his speaking blog at http://GreatPublicSpeaking.blogspot.com

The Right Word at the Right Time

On my way home tonight, I stopped in a CVS store. As I was waiting in line the cashier called out to the person in front of me. It sounded like "Next guest, please." I wasn't sure I heard correctly. Then he looked at me and said very clearly, "Next guest, please." Wow!I immediately told him how nice it was to be called a guest. He replied, "That's what you are." I explained that it was the first time I had been called a guest in a store. He said, "I hope all of my people would say that". It turned out that he was the manager. I told him I had never had that experience anywhere except in a hotel.

There were two things that struck me. First, the manager was working the cash register. That action sent a message that customers come before job titles.
Secondly, his use of the word "guest" created a different experience. If the customer is a guest, then the cashiers are hosts. If they are hosts, they are there to welcome us and give us an experience, as opposed to conducting a transaction.
The entire interchange took three minutes. Yet that one manager created a pleasant experience by just using one word-guest.
What are the words that you use with your audience? your direct reports? your customers? Words are powerful. Words have the power to transform.
The trend in speaking has moved beyond conveying content to creating an experience. You don't have to be entertaining or funny to create an experience. Simply change your words.

Even Beauty Queens Need Good Presentation Skills

You say you don't need presentation skills? You're not a public speaker? Think again.
Beauty pageants aren't just about beauty. Did you know that the interview is 40% of the grade? That means if a contestant flubs the presentation there's a good chance she won't win the crown.

It's no different in business or the workplace. I've known very bright, competent people who lose instant credibility because of an inability to communicate or speak in public.
But don't take my word for it. See for yourself.

Don't Assume You Know What Your Audience Wants

My friend, Vera Moore, launched her line of Vera Moore cosmetics at Duane Reed. It was exciting for her to get her product line in the New York City store next to Macy's. I stopped by to share in her celebration. I had just returned from a networking breakfast where the authors gave us two books. I was juggling my handbag, a small tote bag and these two books in my arms. The books were too big for the tote bag. It was cumbersome to say the least.

When I left Vera's cosmetic display, I noticed a table with a wheel in front of the store. People were lined up to spin the wheel to win a prize. The prizes were a Jersey Boys CD, a tee shirt, or some little souvenirs. If you didn't land on a prime spot you would get a plastic bag with a brochure. I really wanted the bag. The CD was good but I really needed that plastic bag to hold my books for my commute.

As I spun the wheel I was hoping it would not land on one of the prizes. In other words, for the first time in my life I was hoping to be a loser. And I got my wish! The needle landed on the white space and they gave the plastic bag as a consolation prize. I put my books in the bag and went on my way a lot happier and feeling a lot lighter.

What is the lesson here? How often do we think we know what the client or audience wants? We make decisions using our own criteria rather than what the audience values.
Why would anyone want a plastic bag as a prize? Because at that moment in time that was my most pressing need. I needed to free my hands.

A consultant friend had a client who paid him his entire fee in advance. He thought it was because of his good reputation and negotiation skills. He later discovered the real reason. The client told him that he always paid up front because then the company couldn't cancel his project.

People do things for their reasons, not our reasons.

Years ago a company decided to do business with me after looking over several proposals. I asked them why they chose me. I thought they'd say it was my training design or the price. I was stunned when they told me the reason. "We like you."
Wow! I hadn't considered that.

The next time you're preparing a presentation or going on a sales call, ask the audience what they want. You may be surprised by what you hear.

Taking Audience Reaction A Little Too Personally?

I read a recent article in Forbes Woman entitled, Taking Things Too Personally? The article written by Heidi Brown, talks about how stress makes people "touchy" and overly sensitive to criticism in the workplace. I started to think about my clients and how nervous they feel in front of an audience. I sometimes think we take things personally and give the audience too much power.
I often tell people "Get Over Yourself!" If you're focusing on your fear or sense of rejection, you're being self-centered. It's not just about you.

This summer I was invited to speak at a scientific conference about public speaking.
The audience consisted of scientists, researchers, physicians, health care providers, and a few performers. It was stated up front that there was very little research on the science of public speaking. I felt resistance in the audience who valued research studies and data. One man actually opened his laptop and started typing. At first I was concerned and thought he was checking emails. Then I told myself, maybe he's taking notes on my talk! :)
I was so confident in my subject that I knew I was offering value. It may not have been the message they wanted to hear but it was a message they needed to hear.
Too many technical experts read their research studies and clutter their slides with tiny print. They needed a new perspective and I was going to be the one to tell them.

During the Q&A session I was challenged a couple of times. I smiled and said thank you. It's okay to be challenged. It's fine for people to disagree. There were also people who loved my talk and how I delivered it.

The questions to ask yourself are "Am I in integrity?" "Am I speaking my truth as I know it?" "Do I care about the audience?" "Am I open to different opinions and ideas?" "Do I believe in my message?"

A day later, the coordinator emailed me and told me about one of the presenters.
A physician had stopped in the middle of her presentation. She said, "Oh, I'm reading my slides. Diane DiResta said not to read the slides."
Something got through. The message landed. As speakers we may have an impact and never know about it.

So...realize that your audience comes with their own expectations, experiences, and filters through which they see the world. It's easy to be confident when everybody hangs on your every word.

The real test is to stand with confidence and not react to every response from the audience. In other words, don't take it personally.